Friday I'm in Love: Beginnings

This still feels a little weird. I never intended to be a writer. It was just something I picked up in high school, staying up late to creep downstairs to the desktop computer so I could write more posts in a forum roleplays, frantically hiding in the utility room any time I heard the stairs creak. Looking back, I remember thinking I wasn't very good at writing even then, that it was just a distraction from schoolwork and teenage drama (of which, I'm sort of proud to say, I had plenty of each and ignored both more often than not). But I was having fun, and I made friends, some of which I still talk to today. I love beginnings. Whether it's the first hour of a video game, the first chapter of a story, or the first time I meet someone, beginnings are these magical events that only happen the one time. No matter how slow a beginning, literally anything imaginable can happen afterwards, and I honestly can't wait to find out what happens next. Their the first of many crossroads that we each have to traverse, and the decisions we make at the start make the biggest impacts we have.

I have a folder on my desktop full of the first parts of stories, ranging from twenty words to ten chapters. I can't tell you how many games I've never finished, if only because I can't stop myself from resetting to replay the beginning. Hell, I've got a year and a half of college under my belt, with no idea when that'll ever get finished. It just wasn't as fun after the first semester!

That's part of why I write, I guess. I get to reimagine all the experiences that I've already had, wearing the masks of my characters, and see how much different it all could have been. If I had said this, if they had said that. Kind of my own way of reexamining my life, I guess (although I sincerely doubt I'm the first to have stumbled upon this idea). And it lets others see what's happening in my head, sometimes, and maybe, if I'm lucky, make them feel one way or the other about it.

This whole writing thing... It's still pretty new to me, in the long term. So it feels like a beginning of sorts, too. But it's time to move on past the beginning. To see where this story goes.

And you know what? I'm okay with that.

In fact, I think I love that, too.